Am I Abusing Others?
Abuse is not an accident. It does not happen because someone was stressed-out, drinking, or using drugs. Abuse is an intentional act that one person uses in a relationship to control the other. Abusers have learned to abuse to get what they want. The abuse may be physical, sexual, emotional, and psychological.
Abusers often have low self-esteem. They do not take responsibility for their actions and at times may even blame the victim for causing the violence. They may accuse their partners of being the “abuser” and they, sometimes, genuinely believe that they are the “abused” party. They may use this claim to manipulate friends, service providers and/or law enforcement agencies.
Have friends or family ever told you they thought you were abusive or controlling? Abuse is not part of a normal relationship, even if it doesn’t happen every day. Ask yourself these questions.
- Call my girlfriend/boyfriend names?
- Text or call them excessively and get upset when they don’t respond?
- Monitor their email or profile on a social networking site?
- Feel I have a right or need to know where they are most of the time?
- Get jealous or angry when they spend time with friends or family?
- Ask them to change their clothes or style of dress?
- Get in their face during a disagreement?
- Push, slap, or punch them for any reason?
- Restrain them to keep them from leaving during an argument?
- Guilt or force them into having sex?
- Threaten to hurt them or myself if my relationship ever ends?
Help and Resources
Center Against Family Violence
El Paso Police Department
Texas Council on Family Violence
The Nationals Women Health Information Center
800-994-9662 TDD: 888-220-5446
The National Domestic Violence Hotline
1.800.799.SAFE (7233) 1.800.787.3224 (TTY)
The National Abuse Dating Hotline
1-866-331-9474 | 1-866-331-8453 TTY
Love Good Bad Ugly (Teen Dating)